Revision Makes Perfect (Due 11/25) #12

Having to revise a paper for me is harder than trying to pull my own tooth out. I hate it. I would rather shove my head into a window pane, but I still had to do it. While certainly having a draft makes the whole essay writing part a lot easier, seeing as I already had most of it typed out and revised already, but it didn’t make the process any more enjoyable.

First I went to the comments posted on m y blog post– what could I add to my argument to make it more legitimate and flow better? Per Cole’s suggestion, I moved the ‘we have domesticated animals a long time ago’ paragraph to the beginning, just after my second paragraph, and I found I liked it quite a bit. Margaret told me to include something about life expectancy, leading me to bring back the article about the oldest living dog being on a vegetarian diet.

Cole’s suggestion about giving a middle ground gave me a lot of leeway to introduce the FDA’s regulations for dog and cat foods, presenting a way that people who feed their pets meat-free diets because of commercial foods a way to help their and other peoples pets, as well as hopefully convincing them to put meat back into their pets diet. I made a lot more editing due to Cole pointing out that I didn’t have a lot of quotes in my paper, which I had noticed before, and added more to back up my arguments further as well as add some ethos to how it looked in general.

Lastly I looked at Professor Nixon’s review of my last paper, first and foremost editing a lot of my citation errors as well as formatting errors. I made sure that my paper flowed better and had a more consistent argument, as well as how my ideas were presented. Overall I’m really proud of my paper.

But I’m really sick of this subject.

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